Choosing to say, "Goodbye"

This week Patrick taught me an important lesson about backing up my decisions.

I realized that one of my biggest stresses right now is the puppies. I started asking myself, "Do I really want two puppies? How is this affecting our family?" So I had to make a hard decision.. And I decided that I could only care for one puppy. That alone was difficult, but then I had to decide which one! Talk about heartbreaking.

Driving Scout to the shelter was about like having the heart ripped out of my chest. I started crying about what was coming before I even left the driveway, and by the time I got there my face was of course covered in nice big red blotches. I had filled out the paperwork, cried my way through several Kleenex, and started saying goodbye to Scout when I realized that in my rush to get the difficult thing over with I had forgotten to let Patrick say goodbye. Oh boy. After all of that I brought Scout back home. I spent the afternoon crying and trying to think of another solution, all the while knowing I had already made the right decision.

When Patrick got home I had to remake for myself the decision to give up Scout. It was awful. And then I tried to explain to Patrick that he had to take Scout back for me; I just couldn't make that drive to the shelter again. Patrick was very kind and supportive, but he told me that if I was going to make this decision I needed to be the one to follow through on it. And so I did.

Patrick came with me, held me hand, wiped my tears, and did the driving home. Having his support was just what I needed to be able to follow through on this difficult decision.  It also taught me a really important lesson: making the decision is only a small part of the bigger battle. Following through, often  in the littlest ways, is how we are really going to win the war.

one BAD week

This last week was the worst.

On Sunday I had to speak in church.  Normally I like public speaking, but it just didn't go as well as I'd hoped. Basically my talk was short. WAY too short. And then I had to substitute for a random class in Primary (with no prior warning). It was just stressful.

Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday... Not too bad. Except that I think I cried every night for one reason or another. (I'm just really emotional some times. Or all the time.)

I had high hopes that things would start looking up as the weekend got closer (even though Patrick would be gone on Thursday and Friday for some training). But Thursday wasn't any better. In fact, it was even worse.  I was in charge of this Relief Society activity that was an absolute fail.  I made the best of it, but I'd be lying if I didn't admit that it was incredibly stressful and disappointing.

I finally made it to Friday night. Patrick came home hot, sweaty, and exhausted, but he was home. And even if he was just crashed in the bedroom- he was home. And I love having him home.

Saturday was filled with just getting stuff done. Nothing too exciting, but I did get to spend time with Patrick.  Instead of a date that night we babysat for another couple from church. I hate babysitting, but I said yes because this other woman sounded absolutely desperate for a date with her husband. And I can understand that.

With as much anxiety as I had about babysitting.. it was even worse than I expected.  Their little girl screamed for 5 hours. The parents came home to a quiet house (I'd finally gotten her to sleep about 10 minutes before they arrived) but a red and blotchy faced Tarah that was too traumatized to even be able to carry on a coherent conversation.  Talk about the cherry on top of an awful week!

The good news is that after Saturday night caring for two puppies seems significantly easier. And I don't have any babysitting this week :) So even though it was NOT a wonderful week, I still think it's a wonderful life.

Scout & Libby

The puppies are growing SO FAST, and I am absolutely loving learning about their little personalities.  

I must admit that I was wrong about Scout; he is certainly not the dumb one! In fact he is our house-training champ. He just isn't as "in-your-face" with his demands for affection as Libby is, and sometimes he need a little food to motivate him.  Typical boy :) I'm connecting with him a lot better now that I've realized this, and that's been very encouraging.

The next big news is that... I finally got a camera!! Goodbye to the days of having to try and capture wiggly puppies on my computer. Now that I have an actual camera I've been doing my best to document all of the cute and funny things the puppies do. I've had pretty good success so far (with the help of Patrick), but there are two things that I can't seem to catch on film:

1. Out of nowhere they'll do this cute little crawl. They are 100% stretched out, completely flat on the ground, and then they push off with their toes and inch their way forward. It is hilarious. And adorable. And I'm going to be seriously disappointed if I don't catch it on film.

2. They tease each other to no end! Say Libby wants to play but Scout is tired... Libby will go pick up a toy from their crate and then proceed to dangle it in front of Scout's face until he decides that he wants the toy enough to get up and play. They take turns going back and forth picking toys out to tempt each other with.. It's really funny.

I'll be sure to share some of the pictures and videos I DO have when I get the cord to connect the camera to the computer. When you see more of these little guys you'll understand why I have become slightly puppy obsessed these day :)