This week Patrick taught me an important lesson about backing up my decisions.
I realized that one of my biggest stresses right now is the puppies. I started asking myself, "Do I really want two puppies? How is this affecting our family?" So I had to make a hard decision.. And I decided that I could only care for one puppy. That alone was difficult, but then I had to decide which one! Talk about heartbreaking.
Driving Scout to the shelter was about like having the heart ripped out of my chest. I started crying about what was coming before I even left the driveway, and by the time I got there my face was of course covered in nice big red blotches. I had filled out the paperwork, cried my way through several Kleenex, and started saying goodbye to Scout when I realized that in my rush to get the difficult thing over with I had forgotten to let Patrick say goodbye. Oh boy. After all of that I brought Scout back home. I spent the afternoon crying and trying to think of another solution, all the while knowing I had already made the right decision.
When Patrick got home I had to remake for myself the decision to give up Scout. It was awful. And then I tried to explain to Patrick that he had to take Scout back for me; I just couldn't make that drive to the shelter again. Patrick was very kind and supportive, but he told me that if I was going to make this decision I needed to be the one to follow through on it. And so I did.
Patrick came with me, held me hand, wiped my tears, and did the driving home. Having his support was just what I needed to be able to follow through on this difficult decision. It also taught me a really important lesson: making the decision is only a small part of the bigger battle. Following through, often in the littlest ways, is how we are really going to win the war.
